It really is funny that the more I learn about other people and how they make decisions, the harder it is to judge them for it. I only hope that the humility and willingness to change my mind that I've been trying to harness will be enough to help me to understand.
On the same note, I always hope that other people will recognize that I am trying, I am curious, and I do want to know; that they won't judge me too harshly. And maybe that weird example of open-mindedness will be meaningful. Mostly because (a) it would be helpful in them understanding me, (b) I think it really cultivates relationships and enriches those that already exist, and, selfishly, (c) I get tired of trying to explain people and perspectives to other people, and it's funny, it's not even my responsibility. Sometimes I worry I am too agreeable, whatever that means.
So I'm not naive in terms of, "I can change the world," but if I was able to readjust my own feelings, and contribute to even a small change in my way of living or thinking, and then you come to my environment, then there is something I can do, and I chose that way.
Odelia Englander
One Voice Movement
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Context matters
I was under the impression that a summer in New York City with two best friends, limited engagements, an office internship, and a lot of cash would be more like a wild adventure in the first week. Images of late excursions to tapas and afternoons spent shopping, evenings walking across bridges, and just generally being fabulous in the company of some I love most.
What I am quickly realizing is that the adventure is in the details. The little things, so far, like when Jenni and I first got to Coral Towers and were officially told we were rooming together, and we both exploded with happiness in the elevator (I wonder if there are surveillance cameras... I was happydancing and hit my head on my suitcase... don't ask) after finally letting the weight of awesomeness settle in! Even going to the Trader Joe's to pick out carbohydrate and sugar free options for our next few meals and cooking together is just so lovely.
On a completely different note, I am also incredibly surprised by Artist as Citizen. On Tuesday, I met with Richard Reiss, with whom I have been in contact for about a month, in Stuyvesant Park, which is around the corner from my dorm and about five minutes from his office/apartment. We sat and chatted about life, about art, about my academic interests, my questions, and ideas and connections between all of them. About two hours after I had returned home, I received a few emails to follow up on our conversations - scholarly articles backing up my own observations and conclusions, and further questions for me to think about. The next day I met Richard in the same place with Sascha, who is a volunteer/intern for design from Cooper Union, and after discussion about websites and grants, we had more of the same. Sascha is German, he's Libertarian, which was interesting! My favorite place, where I caught him, was:
Laura: I mean, soda is just really, really bad for us. All the sugar. It's so inexpensive. And it's everywhere.
Sascha, in his adorable European accent: Well, yes, but, I feel that, if I want to have a Coke, I should have the choice of whether or not I can have a Coke.
later
Laura: Think about it. If you don't have a lot of money, are you going to Trader Joe's for your dinner or are you going to McDonalds? Where your Big Mac is at least 710 calories, with your french fries, and your large soda? For one meal? But you eat for under five bucks?
Sascha: That should be outlawed, prohibited. Nobody needs this.
Laura: But what if you want to eat a Big Mac? And you are provided with the choice?
And Richard laughed. It was great.
The best part was that I revealed my someday-far-away-dream of owning a coffee shop/performance venue to produce theater and performance that has a Point. Forgive how vague this is, please, but we came to the realization that my socially-provocative-and-engaging-showcase-coffee-shop is literally a physical manifestation of Artist as Citizen work. And it is entirely possible that AAC is going to need a venue, somewhere to display projects so they are less nebulous than in the form of journalism on a website. However cool that website may be.
It was the first time that dream felt feasible.
Never in my life have I felt so intellectually validated. I will be doing office work - currently I'm supposed to be working on letters of inquiry for grants/organizations - but it is very clear that I'm not just there to "do office work," that my ideas matter, and my input is very important to Richard's brand new AAC.
Anyway, lots of emails to follow up on my questions. What's very exciting is that twice this week Richard has said things like, "Your comment gave me a great idea for a project, Laura." And on the first day we met, after talking with me for an hour, he said, "You are ahead of the game." So, friends of mine, please know that you, too, are "ahead of the game" when you think for yourself, and when you are confident enough to ask questions - this is a new thing for me! - and when you start to understand the strange and scary interconnectedness of all things within our American way of living.
It's strange to see these things and be in such a culturally saturated place as New York. Especially for Jenni, after Malawi, I can't imagine it's so easy to enjoy everything.
What I am quickly realizing is that the adventure is in the details. The little things, so far, like when Jenni and I first got to Coral Towers and were officially told we were rooming together, and we both exploded with happiness in the elevator (I wonder if there are surveillance cameras... I was happydancing and hit my head on my suitcase... don't ask) after finally letting the weight of awesomeness settle in! Even going to the Trader Joe's to pick out carbohydrate and sugar free options for our next few meals and cooking together is just so lovely.
On a completely different note, I am also incredibly surprised by Artist as Citizen. On Tuesday, I met with Richard Reiss, with whom I have been in contact for about a month, in Stuyvesant Park, which is around the corner from my dorm and about five minutes from his office/apartment. We sat and chatted about life, about art, about my academic interests, my questions, and ideas and connections between all of them. About two hours after I had returned home, I received a few emails to follow up on our conversations - scholarly articles backing up my own observations and conclusions, and further questions for me to think about. The next day I met Richard in the same place with Sascha, who is a volunteer/intern for design from Cooper Union, and after discussion about websites and grants, we had more of the same. Sascha is German, he's Libertarian, which was interesting! My favorite place, where I caught him, was:
Laura: I mean, soda is just really, really bad for us. All the sugar. It's so inexpensive. And it's everywhere.
Sascha, in his adorable European accent: Well, yes, but, I feel that, if I want to have a Coke, I should have the choice of whether or not I can have a Coke.
later
Laura: Think about it. If you don't have a lot of money, are you going to Trader Joe's for your dinner or are you going to McDonalds? Where your Big Mac is at least 710 calories, with your french fries, and your large soda? For one meal? But you eat for under five bucks?
Sascha: That should be outlawed, prohibited. Nobody needs this.
Laura: But what if you want to eat a Big Mac? And you are provided with the choice?
And Richard laughed. It was great.
The best part was that I revealed my someday-far-away-dream of owning a coffee shop/performance venue to produce theater and performance that has a Point. Forgive how vague this is, please, but we came to the realization that my socially-provocative-and-engaging-showcase-coffee-shop is literally a physical manifestation of Artist as Citizen work. And it is entirely possible that AAC is going to need a venue, somewhere to display projects so they are less nebulous than in the form of journalism on a website. However cool that website may be.
It was the first time that dream felt feasible.
Never in my life have I felt so intellectually validated. I will be doing office work - currently I'm supposed to be working on letters of inquiry for grants/organizations - but it is very clear that I'm not just there to "do office work," that my ideas matter, and my input is very important to Richard's brand new AAC.
Anyway, lots of emails to follow up on my questions. What's very exciting is that twice this week Richard has said things like, "Your comment gave me a great idea for a project, Laura." And on the first day we met, after talking with me for an hour, he said, "You are ahead of the game." So, friends of mine, please know that you, too, are "ahead of the game" when you think for yourself, and when you are confident enough to ask questions - this is a new thing for me! - and when you start to understand the strange and scary interconnectedness of all things within our American way of living.
It's strange to see these things and be in such a culturally saturated place as New York. Especially for Jenni, after Malawi, I can't imagine it's so easy to enjoy everything.
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